Here I am after months of not writing... thinking about this blog from time to time, wanting to get back to it. Here I am, 5 months on the other side of a surgery that had scared me, yet made me peaceful... I remember telling Glenn and my Mama, "either I'll wake up and see ya'll, or I'll wake up and see my Daddy" (he's been in heaven almost 3 years now). Either would have been fine with me that day!
I certainly had no desire to leave my husband and my kids, or my various other family members, but to see Jesus would have been equally wonderful, no- even more wonderful!!! Then, I would have also seen my Daddy, whose death July 10, 2008 took me on a roller coaster ride of grief and depression. Oh how I miss my Daddy!!! I am by no means 'healed' of my grief totally, but it certainly is true, that one day, after you have lost a loved one to death (he's not lost- I KNOW he's in heaven by the way :o)....
Well, after you've lost a loved one to death, the pain you feel is incredible, it feels like it will rip your heart out at times. It feels incredibly sad that you have no idea when you'll see that person again. I mean, I have the hope, the knowledge that one day I'll be face to face not only with my Saviour, but with my earthly father once again. Oh what a wonderful day!!!! And yet, the knowledge that I wouldn't see him here on this earth again has been almost more than I can bear at times.
When I found out I had cancer (Dec. 17th, 2010), I wanted nothing more than to call my Daddy. He knew what it felt like to hear those words, "you have cancer". That's probably been the worst part- not having someone that I could talk to who KNOWS what it's like to hear those words. They can do surgery, get it out of there (as they did with me on January 12, 2011), but still, the worry is there at every back ache, every strange sensation.
OK! I certainly didn't mean to come back and write a novel here, but that's what you get when I stay away from this blog for months at a time. Maybe, just maybe, I'll get back on here lots quicker and surprise you :o)
We are in the middle of an incredibly busy week, doing outreaches not only in our hometown, but in the Cities as well. We are excited to see what God will do!
Thanks for reading....
1 comment:
Like the new look. Thanks for coming back over here and writing! I still miss my Dad so much and it's been 10 years now...hard to believe so much time has passed...there are still ups and downs. That's what happens when you love someone so much.
Lifting up prayers to the Only One who can answer!
Psalms 4:7-8 Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased. I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.
Post a Comment