We had a nice Thanksgiving. It was very sad for me when I realized this would be Daddy's last. Oh sure, I knew it was, but really facing it is different!
My sister in law and I went Black Friday shopping and had a great time. It was nice to get out.
Today, being Saturday, we went to yard sales. Nothing major, but we had a good time together.
Tomorrow is church- I'm looking for great results in Minnesota!
Daddy is having more wild dreams. He had a really rough night last night, crying out in pain. He said the radiation has definitely worn off. He's so very tired.
;o(
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving!
This is a 'bittersweet' Thanksgiving at best for me. I really miss my husband and daughter (and my house) this morning. It's 22 with a windchill of 11 at our house and is snowing. (very different than here in Florida!)
It will no doubt be the last Thanksgiving with my Daddy here.
My inlaws traditionally go to my parents on Thanksgiving (Glenn is an only child and it would just be them alone so Mama has long invited them too). Today it will be my Mama, Daddy, my oldest brother and his family (wife and 3 kids), my youngest brother, his 2 kids, my 2 boys and me, my inlaws. That's 15 of us. We are having a real feast- turkey, dressing, ham, mashed potatoes (I am quite sure there will be gravy too!), green beans, corn, hashbrown casserole, baked beans, sweet potato casserole
Dessert: pumpkin pie, pecan pie (Cool Whip to top them), apple pie, cherry pie, coconut pie (my mother in law home made the cherry and coconut ones).
And of course we will have rolls and sweet tea!
My Daddy has always been the one to do the dressing for the turkey. Glenn called him asking for his dressing recipe, yesterday.
Glenn is a great cook, but this year will be his first turkey- he's doing the dressing though like my Daddy always did. (we've been doing that since we lived in Russia- but called yearly to ask how- never wrote it down- sure have now!).
Seriously- do pray for us! We are going to put tables in the living room so we can all sit as close to Daddy as we can (he's in a hospital bed in their room).
It will no doubt be the last Thanksgiving with my Daddy here.
My inlaws traditionally go to my parents on Thanksgiving (Glenn is an only child and it would just be them alone so Mama has long invited them too). Today it will be my Mama, Daddy, my oldest brother and his family (wife and 3 kids), my youngest brother, his 2 kids, my 2 boys and me, my inlaws. That's 15 of us. We are having a real feast- turkey, dressing, ham, mashed potatoes (I am quite sure there will be gravy too!), green beans, corn, hashbrown casserole, baked beans, sweet potato casserole
Dessert: pumpkin pie, pecan pie (Cool Whip to top them), apple pie, cherry pie, coconut pie (my mother in law home made the cherry and coconut ones).
And of course we will have rolls and sweet tea!
My Daddy has always been the one to do the dressing for the turkey. Glenn called him asking for his dressing recipe, yesterday.
Glenn is a great cook, but this year will be his first turkey- he's doing the dressing though like my Daddy always did. (we've been doing that since we lived in Russia- but called yearly to ask how- never wrote it down- sure have now!).
Seriously- do pray for us! We are going to put tables in the living room so we can all sit as close to Daddy as we can (he's in a hospital bed in their room).
Daddy's Dreams
Today (Wednesday), I didn't get to the house until around 4 p.m. I left after church at 8:30. Daddy wasn't awake at all during that time. That's unusual during those hours. I was sad not to really see him. (meaning not awake).
I walked in his room when I first got there, got in the bed we got for Mama last week... Daddy was saying, "Dad, Hey Dad! Howell! Howell!" I immediately cried and left the room. Howell is my Uncle Howell, Daddy's oldest brother (lacked one day of being 10 years older than Daddy). Uncle Howell died a few years ago of leukemia. It was touching to me that he's seeing his Dad and his brother, but hard for me to realize that we will go through much more of this.
In other news: please say a prayer for my health. I'll perhaps mention more someday.
I walked in his room when I first got there, got in the bed we got for Mama last week... Daddy was saying, "Dad, Hey Dad! Howell! Howell!" I immediately cried and left the room. Howell is my Uncle Howell, Daddy's oldest brother (lacked one day of being 10 years older than Daddy). Uncle Howell died a few years ago of leukemia. It was touching to me that he's seeing his Dad and his brother, but hard for me to realize that we will go through much more of this.
In other news: please say a prayer for my health. I'll perhaps mention more someday.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Transmission :o/
Unfortunately, the problem with our van IS indeed the transmission is shot! Ugghhh $1800 to be re-built at the place where they gave us the free estimate. An acquaintance has told us about a place that would possibly be a few hundred dollars cheaper... we will look into that on Monday. We had it re-built about 3 years ago!
Now praying it will make it another couple of years at least when our truck will be paid off and we can afford a newer van.
Life is ever interesting.
Daddy had a rough day- in good news, we found Mama a bed! It's a day bed like we wanted so it will serve a dual purpose of being a place for guests to sit. We got it for $25. Same bed was $139 at a SECOND HAND place!
Praying for church services to go well tomorrow.
Now praying it will make it another couple of years at least when our truck will be paid off and we can afford a newer van.
Life is ever interesting.
Daddy had a rough day- in good news, we found Mama a bed! It's a day bed like we wanted so it will serve a dual purpose of being a place for guests to sit. We got it for $25. Same bed was $139 at a SECOND HAND place!
Praying for church services to go well tomorrow.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
My Wednesday
Daddy did it... he preached from his bed. Now, let me back up and say the devil sure must be after us! I took my parents' van to pick up my mother in law for church (father in law stops by church on Wed. on his way in from work). When I cranked the van (after stopping at my inlaws), it wouldn't crank! (Remember MY van is shot!?). As my mother in law was on the phone with her brother asking him to run us three (my mil, me and my oldest brother) to church, my brother was praying and I got it cranked (but putting it in neutral, cranking and then going!).
Sure enough, once we got to church, it wouldn't go again. Oh well! We made it. Do pray concerning all these van troubles. I said if my inlaws' car cut off on the way home (since I was driving), I was done!
Back to Daddy: he preached concerning, "In My Father's House". I taped it on cassette as well as I called Glenn and he and Cala put it on speaker phone and were able to hear the sermon! (got to love that!) I believe all who heard were touched by the subject matter and the fact it was preached by a dying man who will soon see all these things he was talking about. He closed by asking us to sing the hymn, "How Beautiful Heaven Must Be".
In other happy news: 16 years ago today, Glenn and I started dating. We both remembered. We always do :o)
Sure enough, once we got to church, it wouldn't go again. Oh well! We made it. Do pray concerning all these van troubles. I said if my inlaws' car cut off on the way home (since I was driving), I was done!
Back to Daddy: he preached concerning, "In My Father's House". I taped it on cassette as well as I called Glenn and he and Cala put it on speaker phone and were able to hear the sermon! (got to love that!) I believe all who heard were touched by the subject matter and the fact it was preached by a dying man who will soon see all these things he was talking about. He closed by asking us to sing the hymn, "How Beautiful Heaven Must Be".
In other happy news: 16 years ago today, Glenn and I started dating. We both remembered. We always do :o)
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Out of Sorts
I don't even know how to describe how I feel tonight other than "out of sorts". I feel blah, uggh, just don't know. I got to spend maybe 5 minutes with my Daddy today, as this morning he had to go to the ER for his catheter to be replaced. That took a long time in the waiting on transportation back home, etc. (since he can't sit up, an ambulance had to bring him home as well as take him there of course). After I talked with him a few minutes, I had things to do and he was asleep anyway. This evening, since my van is broken down, I came home with my inlaws. I thought of using their car to go back to my parents' home (my father in law offered), but in the end I just felt like I needed the 'down time'. Although, now I'm not too sure. I just feel like woe is me, cranky, you name it. I broke down crying tonight- good to have inlaws who are so understanding and caring. I felt ridiculous, but oh well. This is just so hard.
My Daddy wants to preach tomorrow night! If so, this will be from his bed, and those gathered will be there at the parsonage (Wed. night service is now usually held at the parsonage). What a touching time this will be. Pray he's able to do so.
I am just sad tonight. Really really sad.
My Daddy wants to preach tomorrow night! If so, this will be from his bed, and those gathered will be there at the parsonage (Wed. night service is now usually held at the parsonage). What a touching time this will be. Pray he's able to do so.
I am just sad tonight. Really really sad.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Another "one of those days" post
Ever had a day that started out well but ended up terrible? I sure have today! This morning we were taking our time here at my inlaws getting some much needed washing done, etc. This afternoon- well, all bets were off!
I carried my oldest brother, his wife and their two youngest children somewhere and on our way back, my van broke down. We were on a very, very busy highway in the middle of rush hour traffic! Ugghh. A tow truck was called and off we went. We actually had a blast as the tow truck (an acquaintance of ours for many years) hooked the van up and towed us home to the tune of $45. Ok, so spending $ is not a blast, but the ride home was. It was a much needed laugh really as we were "way up high" going through town.
I am soooo praying it's not the transmission as it might very well be. We were hoping this van would last us a couple of more years before having to buy another one. Now, at the point of desperation, a.k.a. no money!, we pray for God to show us what to do.
I do praise the Lord that the van didn't do this tonight when I would be traveling through some dark roads with the boys on the way to my inlaws. I certainly praise His name that it didn't take place traveling from Minnesota or to there! What a mess that would be! Things could definitely be worse!
My father in law came by to get us on his way home from work. I asked if he could stay 10 minutes as I was just getting ready to get in the shower and so he did. I got dressed and realized that the pair of jeans I put on- the zipper is broken! ughhh.... I had to laugh as this afternoon when we started out in the van, my sister in law asked if I realized the dress I had on had a hole in the seam around my waist! Ughhh....
As for my Daddy- well, he called me in the room right before I left there tonight... Ethan (my 4 year old son) had come in there and said, 'Grandpa, I'm going to miss you." Thinking Ethan was talking about when he went to his other grandparents house, my Daddy said, "I'll miss you too, son." Ethan replied, "no, no...I miss you when you go to Heaven." The tears streamed down my Daddy's face! (mine too as he told me about it). I then told Daddy that I just am not ready to let him go, and he said, "I know... you never really will be."
I carried my oldest brother, his wife and their two youngest children somewhere and on our way back, my van broke down. We were on a very, very busy highway in the middle of rush hour traffic! Ugghh. A tow truck was called and off we went. We actually had a blast as the tow truck (an acquaintance of ours for many years) hooked the van up and towed us home to the tune of $45. Ok, so spending $ is not a blast, but the ride home was. It was a much needed laugh really as we were "way up high" going through town.
I am soooo praying it's not the transmission as it might very well be. We were hoping this van would last us a couple of more years before having to buy another one. Now, at the point of desperation, a.k.a. no money!, we pray for God to show us what to do.
I do praise the Lord that the van didn't do this tonight when I would be traveling through some dark roads with the boys on the way to my inlaws. I certainly praise His name that it didn't take place traveling from Minnesota or to there! What a mess that would be! Things could definitely be worse!
My father in law came by to get us on his way home from work. I asked if he could stay 10 minutes as I was just getting ready to get in the shower and so he did. I got dressed and realized that the pair of jeans I put on- the zipper is broken! ughhh.... I had to laugh as this afternoon when we started out in the van, my sister in law asked if I realized the dress I had on had a hole in the seam around my waist! Ughhh....
As for my Daddy- well, he called me in the room right before I left there tonight... Ethan (my 4 year old son) had come in there and said, 'Grandpa, I'm going to miss you." Thinking Ethan was talking about when he went to his other grandparents house, my Daddy said, "I'll miss you too, son." Ethan replied, "no, no...I miss you when you go to Heaven." The tears streamed down my Daddy's face! (mine too as he told me about it). I then told Daddy that I just am not ready to let him go, and he said, "I know... you never really will be."
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Long Story Short
The short version is it's been a long day.... yard sales this morning with my sister-in-law (in which we found nothing!), supper with my brother and my sister-in-law to Sonny's Barbecue... in between there my middle brother took care of the boys and took them to the park! I dropped them off, he walked them back home, first stopping at McDonald's for Happy Meals and also to let our niece and our nephew join them. SO, there was my middle brother (who has grown kids), taking care of 4 little ones- a 9 year old girl, 2 four year old boys and a 2 year old boy. I must interject that the boys are all rambunctious!
I then took my 9 year niece to Wal-mart tonight. I know how it is to live in another country, come to the states and long to see Wal-mart again! I imagine at age 9, it's even more urgent to get there! I haven't had much time with this niece, and so it was very nice to be with her tonight. (once again, I'm writing well past midnight and am referring to Friday night). She talked non-stop but was so funny. I miss Cala, and this niece is 12 days younger than Cala so this was really good for me.
Tonight however, I had my father-in-law pick up the boys on his way home from work. I was thinking this way I could spend extra time here with Daddy before heading to their home to sleep. Then, Daddy asked me and my brothers to come talk to him, and I ended up spending the night here.
We are heading to yard sales in the morning.... praying we find a bed for Mama and some comfortable chairs for guests that will visit Daddy.
Exhausted once again.... goodnight.
I then took my 9 year niece to Wal-mart tonight. I know how it is to live in another country, come to the states and long to see Wal-mart again! I imagine at age 9, it's even more urgent to get there! I haven't had much time with this niece, and so it was very nice to be with her tonight. (once again, I'm writing well past midnight and am referring to Friday night). She talked non-stop but was so funny. I miss Cala, and this niece is 12 days younger than Cala so this was really good for me.
Tonight however, I had my father-in-law pick up the boys on his way home from work. I was thinking this way I could spend extra time here with Daddy before heading to their home to sleep. Then, Daddy asked me and my brothers to come talk to him, and I ended up spending the night here.
We are heading to yard sales in the morning.... praying we find a bed for Mama and some comfortable chairs for guests that will visit Daddy.
Exhausted once again.... goodnight.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
I'm writing this after midnight, but when I say "today", I mean Thursday. Today, my oldest brother and his family arrived from Paraguay. (where they are missionaries). My two other brothers and I went to pick them up. Under normal circumstances, we would be happy to all be together, as this is a RARE occasion. (the last time being about five years ago). This is anything but normal circumstances!
It was great to meet my brother's two youngest children. They've had them home for a little over a year. It was a bright spot in the evening when we got my boys together with these two. Cousins meeting for the first time was neat. My brother's oldest daughter is just 12 days younger than Cala. They have been together three times in their lives. I am looking forward to next month seeing them together again.
There are bright spots. There are terribly sad, somber spots. I know one thing- there's comfort in having all my brothers around. I feel I can exhale a bit now. Tonight, me and the boys moved to my inlaw's house. I will probably spend most of my time at my parents' home, but come here late to sleep. I told my mother in law that honestly, while I want to and feel the need to be "down there" (eight miles away), this will be good for me... a place to 'retreat' so to speak from the gloom that is filling the air there.
Last night, (Wednesday), was an interesting church service. We had it at the parsonage, and my youngest brother (who is Daddy's co-Pastor and well, really now THE Pastor) preached a "funeral" sermon basically. He just felt led of God to do this as he stated "when it comes time to bury Daddy I'll probably need Valium". We opened the door to Daddy's room and it was a strange feeling to hear this dying man say, "Amen", to hear him sing along a bit with his favorite hymn, "All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name"... knowing that soon he'll be in the presence of Jesus! Wow.
I am filled with much emotion. There's gladness and sadness. I go between the two. Mostly sad. I know joy will come at some point.
It was great to meet my brother's two youngest children. They've had them home for a little over a year. It was a bright spot in the evening when we got my boys together with these two. Cousins meeting for the first time was neat. My brother's oldest daughter is just 12 days younger than Cala. They have been together three times in their lives. I am looking forward to next month seeing them together again.
There are bright spots. There are terribly sad, somber spots. I know one thing- there's comfort in having all my brothers around. I feel I can exhale a bit now. Tonight, me and the boys moved to my inlaw's house. I will probably spend most of my time at my parents' home, but come here late to sleep. I told my mother in law that honestly, while I want to and feel the need to be "down there" (eight miles away), this will be good for me... a place to 'retreat' so to speak from the gloom that is filling the air there.
Last night, (Wednesday), was an interesting church service. We had it at the parsonage, and my youngest brother (who is Daddy's co-Pastor and well, really now THE Pastor) preached a "funeral" sermon basically. He just felt led of God to do this as he stated "when it comes time to bury Daddy I'll probably need Valium". We opened the door to Daddy's room and it was a strange feeling to hear this dying man say, "Amen", to hear him sing along a bit with his favorite hymn, "All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name"... knowing that soon he'll be in the presence of Jesus! Wow.
I am filled with much emotion. There's gladness and sadness. I go between the two. Mostly sad. I know joy will come at some point.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Mental Health Day
Today was what I guess you could call a "Mental Health Day". One of my brothers and I (the middle brother) took the boys to yard sales. How can that be relaxing you ask? I simply love yard sales/garage sales or carport sales as a dear departed soul used to call them, whatever you choose to say, I love them! It is not often that I have someone with me that enjoys them as much as my brother seemed to today! We enjoyed some laughs and it really did serve to take our mind off of everything.
We didn't even find what we set out looking for- a car seat for our oldest brother's baby girl and a bed or roll away for my Mama (to sleep in the same room with my Daddy since he is now here in a hospital bed). Any other day I would see car seat after car seat but not so today! I saw a wonderful bed get sold for just $10 (yes, it was a great bed) right as we pulled up to one sale! We will keep looking.
I did come back with some toys for the boys. That served to keep them more occupied and they even behaved better today.
As for my brother? Well, he started the morning thanking me for giving him a new hobby as he was really enjoying the yard sales. He ended the day however, saying he would not be returning next week as he simply bought too much "junk". HA HA! He was hilarious.
I think I'll get him in the van next Friday!
We didn't even find what we set out looking for- a car seat for our oldest brother's baby girl and a bed or roll away for my Mama (to sleep in the same room with my Daddy since he is now here in a hospital bed). Any other day I would see car seat after car seat but not so today! I saw a wonderful bed get sold for just $10 (yes, it was a great bed) right as we pulled up to one sale! We will keep looking.
I did come back with some toys for the boys. That served to keep them more occupied and they even behaved better today.
As for my brother? Well, he started the morning thanking me for giving him a new hobby as he was really enjoying the yard sales. He ended the day however, saying he would not be returning next week as he simply bought too much "junk". HA HA! He was hilarious.
I think I'll get him in the van next Friday!
Friday, November 02, 2007
He's here
Daddy is home now. He came home (by ambulance) last night. My brother and I spent yesterday afternoon breaking down Mom and Dad's bed, cleaning their room (dusting, etc.) and then someone came to install a hospital bed. Turns out the hospital bed is hard as a rock and miserable. As I write this, the home health nurse is here and she will be told about the bed. Hopefully another one can be ordered. This one appears to be super old.
Side note: The doctors suggested Hospice but for whatever reason, Daddy doesn't want them yet. In these matters, of course we are letting him decide. (at this point). I think he's overwhelmed really.
By night time I was honestly ready to collapse. Thank the Lord for my inlaws taking care of the boys. They spent the night there and I picked them up early this morning.
Emotionally, I am I guess what you would call, "spent". I think at this point I am past crying, although that's probably not true either, as singing a song this past Wednesday night (at church) reduced me to tears. There are just so many strange emotions going on, and they can change daily, even hourly.
Side note: The doctors suggested Hospice but for whatever reason, Daddy doesn't want them yet. In these matters, of course we are letting him decide. (at this point). I think he's overwhelmed really.
By night time I was honestly ready to collapse. Thank the Lord for my inlaws taking care of the boys. They spent the night there and I picked them up early this morning.
Emotionally, I am I guess what you would call, "spent". I think at this point I am past crying, although that's probably not true either, as singing a song this past Wednesday night (at church) reduced me to tears. There are just so many strange emotions going on, and they can change daily, even hourly.
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