I'm writing this after midnight, but when I say "today", I mean Thursday. Today, my oldest brother and his family arrived from Paraguay. (where they are missionaries). My two other brothers and I went to pick them up. Under normal circumstances, we would be happy to all be together, as this is a RARE occasion. (the last time being about five years ago). This is anything but normal circumstances!

It was great to meet my brother's two youngest children. They've had them home for a little over a year. It was a bright spot in the evening when we got my boys together with these two. Cousins meeting for the first time was neat. My brother's oldest daughter is just 12 days younger than Cala. They have been together three times in their lives. I am looking forward to next month seeing them together again.

There are bright spots. There are terribly sad, somber spots. I know one thing- there's comfort in having all my brothers around. I feel I can exhale a bit now. Tonight, me and the boys moved to my inlaw's house. I will probably spend most of my time at my parents' home, but come here late to sleep. I told my mother in law that honestly, while I want to and feel the need to be "down there" (eight miles away), this will be good for me... a place to 'retreat' so to speak from the gloom that is filling the air there.

Last night, (Wednesday), was an interesting church service. We had it at the parsonage, and my youngest brother (who is Daddy's co-Pastor and well, really now THE Pastor) preached a "funeral" sermon basically. He just felt led of God to do this as he stated "when it comes time to bury Daddy I'll probably need Valium". We opened the door to Daddy's room and it was a strange feeling to hear this dying man say, "Amen", to hear him sing along a bit with his favorite hymn, "All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name"... knowing that soon he'll be in the presence of Jesus! Wow.

I am filled with much emotion. There's gladness and sadness. I go between the two. Mostly sad. I know joy will come at some point.