There has been so much go on in the past year.  Just in the past few months, I came out of a major depression that lasted FOUR YEARS!  Yes, I said years- four of them!  After my Daddy died in July of 2008, I felt like I had died a bit.  I just couldn't get myself out of it.  *Note here:  Please never tell a depressed person to "just snap out of it."  If they could, they would!*

God has blessed me so much though, and somewhere around February of this year, I started really feeling the weight of depression lifting- the fog clearing.  I felt happier.  I was even "graduated" from the program I had been in for severely depressed people.  Yay!  

Ever since June of last year, I have been having some severe problems health wise.  It started in June 2012, the day we were leaving for vacation.  I fell.  I honestly thought it was my sandal getting caught on the door step, but two days later, I fell again while on vacation.  I knew something was wrong.

Once we returned from vacay (to Yellowstone :o) ,  I was sent to a neurologist.  Wow the tests that have been run on me-  At first we though MS- an MRI was run (twice in fact within a few months)-  no major problems there- MS ruled out...  Then, maybe it's MG (Myasthenia Gravis)-  I had no clue what that was, but sure learned.  I had a "single fiber EMG" run- (a needle right next to my left eye was inserted- no thanks! I never want to go through that again!)  "Congratulations! You do NOT have MG".  I was supposed to be happy, but left that office so confused.  What was going on with me?  

Next, to a lumbar puncture and tons and tons of blood tests.  An EMG and Nerve Conduction Study were run on my legs and arms.  Nothing but a bit of Carpal Tunnel was found.  (thanks to being at my computer a good bit.)
 I was told that it doesn't appear to be ALS (Lou Gherig's) as the tests do not show it. (EMG)

Fast forward, this past April 25th, I returned to my neurologist and have more and more symptoms happening.  The weakness in my arms now is astounding, especially the left arm.  It is as if the muscles are dying.  I have twitches throughout.  I have trouble swallowing.  These are very real symptoms of ALS- and alas, the neuro told me it is "back on the table" as a possibility.  

I am now being sent to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN (almost 3 hours from our home).  They are considered among THE best in the world.  As I was told by a specialist around here, "we see the horses. Mayo sees the zebras.  They can find what it is- even if it's something only 7 people in the world have."

So, that is the plan.  Pray for me.  I certainly don't want Lou Gherig's- a death sentence... but I am extremely calm about this really.  I have peace that whatever it is, God is already there.   

Here's my most beautiful daughter (only one I have :o)  I can't believe that she just turned 14 years old!  That I am the Mama of a teenager is unbelievable  but then on top of that- I just can't believe that SHE is 14!  She came home to us at age 2 years, 7 months, a tiny little girl.  

She gives me such joy.  Yes, we are getting a bit of a normal teenager here, but even so, I am so thankful for this precious "baby girl".  

**by the way, her hair looks a little white due to spray in her hair for school spirit week.** 

So, if you're still there, can you let me know in the comments?  I just suddenly got the urge to blog again.  No promises, I'm not stupid enough to be sure I will remember to blog daily, but I sure want to start again.

I have some sort of mystery illness going on- Multiple Sclerosis and Myasthenia Gravis have been ruled out- now we wait to do more tests and find out what is going on.  I fall, I fall, I fall.  I have various other symptoms.  Hoping for some answers soon.

In other news:  My daughter will be 14 on Monday! HOW did that happen?

Hellooooo.....

Hello! Is this thing on? Facebook takes too much of my time to even remember I have a blog! ugghh.

I continue on... continue battling all my various health issues and wishing for normal, whatever that is! Maybe just maybe, I'll get back to blogging. :o) Don't hold your breath or anything, but maybe....

We arrived safely in the St. Louis area where we will be until Thursday. This is to attend the national meeting of the group of Baptists we are a part of. While I write this, I am in the hotel room with the boys and Dixie, our Beagle. :) Cala went with Glenn to the beginning of the meetings tonight. I am recovering (hopefully) from a stomach virus that has had a grip on me since late Wednesday night.

God certainly has a way of taking care of us! We had planned to leave our home around 2 a.m. this morning, but by 10 p.m. we were just really ready to leave and decided to. Our thoughts were we would drive until 2:30 or so in the morning and find a hotel to get just a few hours sleep. Come 2:30, we actually pulled into a hotel in Iowa and before even checking on a room, we decided to walk Dixie first. Before it was all said and done, we hadn't even gone in, but decided to keep driving! We would really have only had about 5 hours sleep and just thought between us both, we could keep going. We are so glad we did! By 6:30 this morning, we pulled into a Denny's for breakfast and the Weather Channel was on... Seems our area had some strong storms last night around the time we would have been leaving, AND the area where we had planned to spend the night?! The SAME! When we were in the parking lot, we saw lots of cloud to cloud lightning and thought little of it. However, God knew!

We were able to get to the St. Louis area early and get a good nap! (never felt so good after several sleepless nights for me). I've taken the boys swimming (watched them) and now they are enjoying the t.v. a few minutes while we wait for Glenn and Cala to come back. All is well for now.... all is well.

Here I am after months of not writing... thinking about this blog from time to time, wanting to get back to it. Here I am, 5 months on the other side of a surgery that had scared me, yet made me peaceful... I remember telling Glenn and my Mama, "either I'll wake up and see ya'll, or I'll wake up and see my Daddy" (he's been in heaven almost 3 years now). Either would have been fine with me that day!

I certainly had no desire to leave my husband and my kids, or my various other family members, but to see Jesus would have been equally wonderful, no- even more wonderful!!! Then, I would have also seen my Daddy, whose death July 10, 2008 took me on a roller coaster ride of grief and depression. Oh how I miss my Daddy!!! I am by no means 'healed' of my grief totally, but it certainly is true, that one day, after you have lost a loved one to death (he's not lost- I KNOW he's in heaven by the way :o)....

Well, after you've lost a loved one to death, the pain you feel is incredible, it feels like it will rip your heart out at times. It feels incredibly sad that you have no idea when you'll see that person again. I mean, I have the hope, the knowledge that one day I'll be face to face not only with my Saviour, but with my earthly father once again. Oh what a wonderful day!!!! And yet, the knowledge that I wouldn't see him here on this earth again has been almost more than I can bear at times.

When I found out I had cancer (Dec. 17th, 2010), I wanted nothing more than to call my Daddy. He knew what it felt like to hear those words, "you have cancer". That's probably been the worst part- not having someone that I could talk to who KNOWS what it's like to hear those words. They can do surgery, get it out of there (as they did with me on January 12, 2011), but still, the worry is there at every back ache, every strange sensation.

OK! I certainly didn't mean to come back and write a novel here, but that's what you get when I stay away from this blog for months at a time. Maybe, just maybe, I'll get back on here lots quicker and surprise you :o)

We are in the middle of an incredibly busy week, doing outreaches not only in our hometown, but in the Cities as well. We are excited to see what God will do!

Thanks for reading....

I had my first post-op appointment yesterday. This was with my gynecologist. She, along with an oncologist is who did the surgery. The gyno took my staples out yesterday and let me know that I tested negative for an infection they were checking me for. While it's good I don't have the infection they tested for, it leaves a puzzle as to why I still have chronic diarrhea. She believes it is possible that it's "simply" related to the surgery, and everything inside being moved around!
SO, I am on a medicine to see if it helps...if no help by Friday, I am to call her again and we will try something else.

My pain level is great today... I think I'll be in the bed a good bit, which of course is what the gyno reminded me to do anyway. In her words, "There is nothing normal about the hysterectomy you had or the reason you had it. You will not follow the normal recovery times as everyone else."