Just had to post... Shannon has died. (if you can't recall who Shannon is, see my post a few down from this one, entitled, "And so it continues".
They unplugged her life support earlier in the day on Saturday and she died soon after. My Mama called me and said the same thing I was thinking- even though you expected it, you aren't prepared. You know, we felt the same way with my Daddy's death even, and goodness! He had been sick for so long. With Shannon, 26 year old Shannon, it was all such a shock- the accident, the surgeries, the losing her life... shock.

Please pray for Shannon's family. Shannon was dear to us, and her family is aching terribly now.

Just so you know I'm alive...

I didn't want anyone worried that I had fallen off the face of the earth or anything! I'm still here, hanging on, just seem to be so busy that come my normal time on the computer, I'm too beat to worry about it!

Let's see if I can update you a bit....this past Friday morning, Glenn went to see/hear McCain/Palin at a rally. I was jealous, really wanted to go, but for various reasons decided it was best I didn't. Such a good thing I didn't too, since he arrived at 9 and STOOD the entire time until past 12:30. I would have been so paying for that for days.

Friday night, I HAD to attend the local high school football game because Ethan's flag football team was to run on the field during half time. I couldn't miss that! I must add in here that I've always HATED football. Seriously, I couldn't understand it, and just didn't want to learn, period. HOWEVER, Glenn always said if he could just get me to one game I'd be hooked.

Uh.... I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS!!!!!!..... He was right! I've declared we will be at this Friday's game too! ha haaaaa (it's an away game but not too far away). After all, I feel like we HAVE to redeem ourselves and get the pleasure of rooting for our local team. You see, last week, it was soooo very packed in this football crazy town that there was nary a spot to be found on "our" side, and so... because of there being no possible way I could stand that long, we uh.... sneaked to the opposing team's side and sat down (in the front row none the less!). As we were walking to our spot, someone there said, "you're on the wrong team!" ha You see, Ethan was wearing his flag football uniform shirt which proudly displays our town name, leaving no doubt we weren't fans of this team, rather fans of the home team! ha We sat down and quickly told the kids NOT to cheer because it didn't seem right or respectful to do so when sitting in the midst of the guests. Boy was that hard!

I laughed when a man and woman who found themselves in our same situation came to sit down... she was wearing a hometown team sweatshirt, and covered it up, looked at me and said, "sorry!" I said, "oh, don't worry! We're on the wrong side too!"

During half time, I even ended up talking to the folks behind us! Well, after all, I overheard their conversation and I knew the answers to what they were pondering... couldn't leave them wondering now could I!?

I SOOOOOOOO wanted to jump up and shout with glee when our team won! (and won big!) I didn't, well... at least not until we got out of the bleachers and back into "friendly" territory! ha ha

Yep, I'm hooked alright. Can't believe it, but it's true. Too bad our season is so incredibly short (due to weather).

Saturday, if we were keeping score, Ethan's team won again! He is so happy in football. He and Seth play daily in the house! (practicing their moves- so cute!).

Sunday, we had a nice day of worship.

Today (Monday)- we took Ethan to his practice and he spent much of the time looking back to see if we were watching him! He really loves knowing we are there and proud to be playing!

Looks like another busy week! That's becoming the norm here!

Tomorrow night I will be the parent helper for Cala's Brownies meeting, Wednesday is church, Thursday is our after school club and then church visitation that night. Friday- well, see above post! We are heading to a game!!!!! (and early so we can be on the right side!)

Go team!

Five Years Ago

Five years ago (on September 17th), I miscarried. I can't believe it's been five years already since I lost "Faith".

To read about it, visit http://www.angelfire.com/blues2/evanfaith Click on Memorial to Faith (down at the bottom) and you can read all about that dreadful day.

So many losses lately... today (Wednesday) I thought about my Daddy now being in heaven with my children there. How precious is that?! They've met their Grandpa!

And so it continues....

My heart just continues to ache, not knowing how much more I can stand!!!! This morning, my Mama told me about Brother Burgner, a Pastor who was a long time friend of our family. He died this morning. He had alzheimers but had done really well until recently. He was one of my Daddy's dearest friends and his wife and kids (all older than me!) are like family to us- it was long "the Barkers and the Burgners". This just brings our own grief right back to us- knowing how this family is feeling right now. :o/

Then, within 3 hours or so, my Mama called to tell me about 26 year old Shannon (and Mama of two boys). This is breaking our hearts so badly! Right after midnight, Shannon was driving (alone) and somehow had a car accident... she was pinned under her car until sometime around 9 a.m this morning!!! She was life flighted to the hospital and has a 50/50 chance to make it through the night. Shannon was in our youth group when we worked there in our "home" church in Florida many years ago.

We've known Shannon since her birth and are just aching for her family. We love them all. They have amputated both Shannon's legs... tomorrow they may have to do even more. (that's if Shannon makes it tonight). They are talking of amputating one arm and then she would also be put on dialysis as it looks like her kidneys are failing.

I go to bed tonight very, very sad. PRAY for Shannon please, and the Burgner family as they grieve for their husband/father- and for my family grieving so terribly right now for my cousin and all this other going on. Sad times. Weird times. So glad to have God.

My Cousin

I am heartbroken tonight and so very sad. Grief had hit me terribly bad today concerning my Daddy- funny how it does that, but then tonight... this evening, my cousin died. She was 36 years old and had battled colon cancer for a couple of years. She leaves behind a husband and a 9 year old son. Please, please pray for them!!! Also, remember to pray for her brother, her sister, and her Mom and Dad. My aunt and uncle need your prayers desperately tonight I am sure. No one expects to out live their child.

Julia and I were close. Growing up, their family would travel from their home in South Carolina to our home (our Mamas are sisters) in Florida for Thanksgiving. Julia and I would spend the time laughing, playing, and as we grew, shopping! We had fun, real fun! As we both married, the trips stopped, but any time we were in South Carolina, we were sure to stay with Julia's Mama and Daddy. Julia and her own family would be sure to stop by as often as possible. She and I would hit all the local consignment shops. What wonderful memories I have of this "cuz" of mine. I am sad tonight. So very sad. My heart is there in South Carolina.

I wonder if Julia and her Uncle Junior (my Daddy) have talked yet. I wonder.

The Past Week in Pictures :o)

On Wednesday, September 3rd, Ethan asked Glenn to take off his training wheels. Glenn did, but was really busy at that moment and told him, "Son, I can't help you right now with riding your bike, but you can go try until I can." We really didn't expect what happened next! Ethan took off as if he had been riding forever!!!!!!!! He taught himself to ride his bike!!!!!!

Thursday, September 4th- Ethan started Kindergarten. On the left, here at home before we took him... On the right, at his locker. The picture on Ethan's locker is of a brown boy and his name is there.

He is waaayyy excited to be in Kindergarten but this past week has been a bit trying to him though as he's tired, poor guy.

On the same day that school started for Cala, on September 2nd, I began Seth in pre-school here at the house. We did a little work last year, but this year he is really into doing school! Here he is hard at work on an art project.

Friday, September 5th- Cala had me paint her face in support of the high school football team. It appears each Friday will be Spirit Day from Cala's school on up, and so, she is to wear school colors if she wants. Of course Cala wants! ha She plans to paint her face every Friday. Now, I've got to say I'm proud of her for one thing... I asked if anyone else painted their face and she said, "No, but I like to be different. What fun is it to be like everyone else?!" I certainly hope she keeps that attitude throughout her life!

Sunday, the 7th- We celebrated our Homecoming at our church. Seth is shown here in our garage where we came back and ate together. We enjoyed that day so much! We had seven visitors which is good! We pray they will return as well as we pray especially for their salvation!

Monday, September 8th- Seth's 3rd Family Day celebrating him being with us for 3 years! (and yes that's a Father's Day bag! ha ha) We gave him a Diego book that had Spanish and English in it. (this way somewhat celebrating his heritage).

On that same Monday night, Ethan had his first flag football practice. I will post pictures tomorrow from his first game.

So, after Monday what did we do?! It seems like we didn't slow down a bit until Thursday when for once nothing was on our schedule!!!!

Tonight Glenn, Cala and Ethan attended the high school game. "We" won! Seth and I enjoyed the couple of hours together. Of course he had plans for Mama. We played and we played and we played. It's tiring work being 3 years old!!!

Catch you tomorrow.......

I will try my best to post tomorrow, I realize I haven't posted now in several days. I have plenty to catch you up on, just haven't posted. For today though, let us not forget the families changed forever, seven years ago today. May God comfort each one of them!

Third Grade

As is our first day of school tradition, Papa (Glenn) made omelets for us all. (this year, it was ham and cheese, and we also had toast).
And here she is at the front door, off to her first day of Third Grade! I can hardly believe it.

She's had two really good days.

She came home yesterday, having already made a new "friend." She was also very happy that she got to eat lunch "like highschoolers-you can eat with whoever you want, Mama!" and so, she sat with almost the entire class from last year! ha They missed each other.

Tomorrow it's Ethan's turn for his first day of Kindergarten. I'll post pictures then!
He's waaaayyyy excited!!!!!!!!

I am having a rough time tonight. We've had a full day and tomorrow is Cala's first day of school. (3rd grade). This is a full week for sure.

Please just pray for me. I have had a panic attack tonight. I just want to call my Daddy.

Update on going to the doctor: I am glad I called! They had an appointment open today, so I went this afternoon. She has given me a couple of medicines that will hopefully help me with all that's going on!

Last night, I found a knot close to my right temple- near my ear. At this point, the doctor wants to just watch it and if nothing changes, all is fine. If it gets bigger, we will try antibiotics to bring it down and if that doesn't work, an ultrasound would be next. Please do pray about this. Of course it concerns me a bit.

Tonight we really had a nice time. We went to a cook-out, or "barbecue" as it is called here. It was a good time of fellowship. Now I have to say that last year, around this time, was the first time Glenn and I had ever tried brats. Glenn liked them, and I did not. Tonight Glenn raved about how good these were (Johnsonville) and I tried one and sure enough loved it too! Beats any hot dog! Funny thing is last year the ones we tried were the same brand, but who knows- maybe we had a bad package?!

Tomorrow we clean...maybe, just maybe I'll get out to some yard sales, but I sort of doubt it. It never hurts to stay in once in awhile.

Today was both Ethan's appointment with a counselor and mine with a grief counselor. The appointments went as well as those types of things can go). I am forever grateful that we have insurance that will cover these appointments for us.

I for one am super glad I have this counselor to talk to- I tell you, it's amazing to me sometimes how I will be thinking, "what am I going to talk about today?" and then bam! I walk in, and it all pours out. She also asked me to go ahead and make a doctor's appointment (medical doctor). I know I need to- due to lack of sleep (haven't slept a complete night since Daddy's death!!!). I will call tomorrow. (If I don't post tomorrow night that I have called, PLEASE post in the comments section reminding me to do so! No joke!). I realize I should have called before now, but honestly, when you are depressed, down from so much grief, your mind doesn't function near as well as it should.

As for Ethan, his counselor asked that we bring him back no more than 2 weeks apart. This is so he is on a set schedule of going to her. I believe we are close to a diagnosis that while we expected it, we fear it, but know we can learn to deal with it, and work with it. Just pray for us and especially for Ethan. What a precious child.

Today has been a full day but a "good" one over all. Here's hoping I sleep.

My heart is breaking once again... the cousin with whom I was the closest, is dying of colon cancer. Hospice has been called in. She's just 36 years old, married and has a 9 year old son. Please pray for my cousin, and her entire family. Such sadness. We knew she was not doing very well, and I am forever grateful that when we were in South Carolina for my Daddy's second funeral (and burial), that we went and visited this cousin. I am so glad of that.

When my Mama called last night to tell me about the progression of my cousin's cancer, well... I cried and cried and cried. I cried so much Cala come from her room, thinking I was sad because of "Grandpa". I explained a little to her and sent her back to bed.

I just really need your prayers- for this cousin and her family.

So There I Sat....

This summer, we have held a Backyard Bible Club in our back yard (where else!? lol) twice a month on Tuesdays. Tomorrow will be the last for this year. We have had some kids come and certainly hope to build upon that next summer!

This afternoon, a girl in our neighborhood was over and Cala invited her to the club tomorrow. She sounded very excited to come and mentioned it to me a few times throughout the day! It really did my heart good, and yes, I know she may very well not show up tomorrow, but I so pray she does!

At one point today, there were 13 kids *(including two of mine) in our garage! They were here playing and getting a little rowdy. I told Cala to go get them all a freeze pop and sure enough, worked like a charm! I invited these kids to come tomorrow and what a blessing it would be to see some show up. I know it would also encourage the lady in our church that heads up the BBC (Backyard Bible Club).

I really want to be that house where the neighborhood kids feel welcomed, where they want to come. I want them to see a difference here and learn why we don't say certain words or phrases (that we certainly will have to remind some not to use here). I got excited today thinking about how I want this to be so, and that slowly it seems to be happening.

Side Note: I have called my dog, "the evangelist dog" as through her running away, we have now met two households and invited them to church. One time was soon after we got Zima. We walked all around and I found her in a neighborhood yard. I got to talk with the mother there. The other time was the girl I mentioned at the beginning of this post. Cala met her the last time Zima got loose when the girl saw Cala looking for the dog and realized she was right close to her home. And now, we have invited this girl to the club and to church. Therefore, Zima is my evangelist dog! ha

I was happy today and wanted to call Daddy. I actually thought, "I need to call Daddy and tell him about all these kids and to pray that they come to the club and to church!" And then it hit me. I can't call him. Daddy has direct access to the Father- how incredible is that!!!!!!! (and yes, I know we have direct access to through prayer, but you know what I mean!). Ok, so I think if there was a bus load getting up for heaven tonight, (and we wouldn't be coming back) I wouldn't offer to be on that bus... I am human! (gasp) I just know that with Daddy's dying, I am closer to the point of wanting to be at that bus stop. I miss him. No other word for it but a deep missing- a part of my puzzle is gone. That piece you search for but can't find.
I had this deep realization today and there I sat. I sat thinking how hard it actually is sometimes to REMEMBER that I can't call Daddy. That's just so strange. Wonder when that will change?!

And here I sit... hoping to sleep tonight... hoping I'll have a dream of Daddy again soon like a few nights ago when I had the only dream I've had of him since his death- and it was totally silly!!!!!! I was wearing two of his shirts together and there he sat in a corner. He said, "They couldn't find you any better shirt than that since I died?!" HAAAAAA

Exhausted but had a really, really nice day. We left this morning at 9:30 and just got in at 7 p.m. ! We've been several places looking at various things, bought Glenn some jeans on sale, and other stuff we needed.

We also bought two apple trees! (yes, apple trees!)We are excited about those! (McIntosh and Golden Delicious).

We were really wanting two other Minnesota varieties, but they were out of all those- Honey Crisp and Sweet Sixteen. (the Honey Crisp are our favorites! We had never heard of Sweet Sixteen until today).

And that was basically going to be my post until this: while I am typing this blog, 9 year old Cala is on the phone to her grandparents. She just told her Grandpa: "Grandpa, I wish you didn't have to work so much (he's a welder and works long hours). You should work at Wal-mart. That's where old people work!"

Oh my! I NEVER know what will come out of her mouth! ha She's precious....

Friday

The happiest news I can share is that my Mama is o.k. I realize I never even shared that she was going in today (Friday) for a colonoscopy. I had planned to post that last night in hopes that ya'll would pray for her. However, I went to bed hoping I could sleep, and forgot all about my blog!

I am just thrilled that the doc said Mama doesn't have to worry about colon cancer! That's a major relief for us all. (she has colon trouble- has for years).

I think if we were all honest, it has been on our minds. The what ifs in life can really get you. They can make you worry needlessly, but after all, we just lost Daddy. The thought of something being wrong with any of us right now is just overwhelming. Yes! We praise the Lord for His goodness in allowing Mama to be o.k. To the left, you will see a picture of my Mama and my daughter. Cala calls her Grandma her partner.

Baptism locale

The baptism Sunday- look how low the Mississippi River has gotten around here! It was sad really. The area though is absolutely beautiful and what a precious time we had out there for this baptism!

The Lord is good!




I realize I haven't posted a picture of my kids in awhile, and so here they are! This was taken a few days before the baptism when we were looking for the place! You can tell a little from the background how beautiful it is out there. I definitely want to take the kids back with nice clothes on and pose them for pictures.

I keep getting responses from people (through email) about how big Ethan has gotten, but I honestly think it's just the angle of this picture! ha. He's honestly not as close to Cala in height as he appears here.

Tonight the kids decided to do some wrestling. Cala won the gold medal for Russia! (yes, they are way into the olympics :o)

3 a.m.

So it's 3 a.m. I haven't even been to bed. I fell asleep for about 20 minutes while Glenn and I were watching an Alfred Hitchcock movie (which we've been doing nightly right lately). That was much much earlier though- we started the movie at 9 p.m.

This has sooo got to change! I have too much to do as a wife, a Pastor's wife at that, a mother, (to kids ages 9, 5, and 3 at that!) to not be getting sleep! I am seriously thinking now of doing what I was avoiding- going into the doctor to ask for some help.

Weird thing is I really emotionally have had 2 pretty good days! I haven't posted here since Friday I noticed so let me update:

Saturday was our normal big cleaning day. However, Saturday morning, I took all 3 kids with me to yard sales and then on to Wal-mart. This gave Glenn some much needed alone time to study more for Sunday, etc. I was thrilled that it went so well- the kids really behaved well and we all had a good time together!!!!

Sunday we had our first baptism here. That was so very special, and we baptized in a beautiful location, in the Mississippi River! We ate Sunday dinner with the family of the girl we baptized and really had a nice time of fellowship. What a blessing!

Yesterday (Monday), we did our typical Monday thing of taking it easy, recuperating from Sunday! I did a few loads of washing, the kids spent a lot of time playing outside (well I should say Cala was outside most of the day! Ethan was out part of the day, and Seth- well, Seth goes out for a little while at a time, comes back in because "I'm hot!"). They all three looked like a ton of dirt fell off in their baths at night! ha

I will try remembering to post some pictures later on from the past few days. For quite some time now the computer wasn't letting me upload from my memory stick but hallelujah it worked on Sunday! So, I'll upload some here soon! Stay tuned...

Friday

What a full day! I am tired and hope I can sleep tonight. That would be a change!

This morning, Ethan and I had somewhere to go about 30 minutes from here so off we went. Got that taken care of and Glenn and I dropped the kids off with a church family and went to my therapy appointment. After that, we ate lunch together, came back, got the kids, headed to a couple of yard sales, to Home Depot (to look at the price of fences... we really would love to fence in our back yard!)... then to Super Target.

While at Target, we bought a vacuum cleaner. We have no luck with vacuums- sometime I will explain, but we bought a new one tonight. Got home, used said vacuum (Glenn did- I am highly allergic to vacuuming- no joke! love vacuuming but can't.) (Isn't vacuum a funny looking word?!) .... The belt broke on said vacuum and off Cala and I go back 9 miles to Target to pick a new one up... bought one for an old vacuum and sure enough it now works too. It's not a really good vacuum- the handle is broken, but we will now have an upstairs vacuum and a downstairs one. It's nice. Our new vacuum seems to do really well! I was amazed and disgusted by the dirt it got up.

Friday nights we have family night, and tonight was Ethan's turn to choose everything. Before bed, the kids helped in cleaning upstairs and re-arranging the furniture.

Cala and I are off to yard sales tomorrow morning... possibly taking the boys too, not completely decided yet. Lots to take care of tomorrow. Goodnight!

Thursday

This morning we all loaded up and went looking for a suitable place to hold a baptism.
We found one! We had been told last night at church about this place and sure enough it will do wonderfully. It is beautiful there!

SO, Sunday, we will hold a baptism in the Mississippi River no less!

Wednesday Post

Wednesday was Ethan's 3rd Family Day. It's incredible to me that it's been 3 years since Ethan became our son. The picture to the left is from the first time we met him.... May 2005. I can't believe how babyish he looks here. He was just 2 years 4 months old then. He came home August 13th at the age of 2 years 7 months.

I hope to be able to post a recent picture of him soon. Unfortunately, our computer doesn't want to upload pictures from our disc anymore! ugggh.

To celebrate Ethan's Family Day, after lunch, we headed to the city park. We even took our dogs with us and had a great time! Supper was sloppy joes and tater tots (at Ethan's request!) and Carrot Cake for dessert. (this boy doesn't care for chocolate much!). I don't let my kids have Cokes (sodas, pops,whatever you want to say) except for special days like this, and so today we had Ethan's favorite- Coca-Cola! He really had a great day and I am so proud to be his Mama!!!!!

Tonight I said, "Ethan! I am glad you're my son." He said, "I'm glad you're my girl!" :o)