This summer, we have held a Backyard Bible Club in our back yard (where else!? lol) twice a month on Tuesdays. Tomorrow will be the last for this year. We have had some kids come and certainly hope to build upon that next summer!
This afternoon, a girl in our neighborhood was over and Cala invited her to the club tomorrow. She sounded very excited to come and mentioned it to me a few times throughout the day! It really did my heart good, and yes, I know she may very well not show up tomorrow, but I so pray she does!
At one point today, there were 13 kids *(including two of mine) in our garage! They were here playing and getting a little rowdy. I told Cala to go get them all a freeze pop and sure enough, worked like a charm! I invited these kids to come tomorrow and what a blessing it would be to see some show up. I know it would also encourage the lady in our church that heads up the BBC (Backyard Bible Club).
I really want to be that house where the neighborhood kids feel welcomed, where they want to come. I want them to see a difference here and learn why we don't say certain words or phrases (that we certainly will have to remind some not to use here). I got excited today thinking about how I want this to be so, and that slowly it seems to be happening.
Side Note: I have called my dog, "the evangelist dog" as through her running away, we have now met two households and invited them to church. One time was soon after we got Zima. We walked all around and I found her in a neighborhood yard. I got to talk with the mother there. The other time was the girl I mentioned at the beginning of this post. Cala met her the last time Zima got loose when the girl saw Cala looking for the dog and realized she was right close to her home. And now, we have invited this girl to the club and to church. Therefore, Zima is my evangelist dog! ha
I was happy today and wanted to call Daddy. I actually thought, "I need to call Daddy and tell him about all these kids and to pray that they come to the club and to church!" And then it hit me. I can't call him. Daddy has direct access to the Father- how incredible is that!!!!!!! (and yes, I know we have direct access to through prayer, but you know what I mean!). Ok, so I think if there was a bus load getting up for heaven tonight, (and we wouldn't be coming back) I wouldn't offer to be on that bus... I am human! (gasp) I just know that with Daddy's dying, I am closer to the point of wanting to be at that bus stop. I miss him. No other word for it but a deep missing- a part of my puzzle is gone. That piece you search for but can't find.
I had this deep realization today and there I sat. I sat thinking how hard it actually is sometimes to REMEMBER that I can't call Daddy. That's just so strange. Wonder when that will change?!
And here I sit... hoping to sleep tonight... hoping I'll have a dream of Daddy again soon like a few nights ago when I had the only dream I've had of him since his death- and it was totally silly!!!!!! I was wearing two of his shirts together and there he sat in a corner. He said, "They couldn't find you any better shirt than that since I died?!" HAAAAAA
2 comments:
Amy, when I dream about my Mama, it's usually silly too. I wonder why?
It's been so long since I lost my Mama that I don't realistically think "i need to call her".
But I lost my "other mother", my closest Aunt, 2 summers ago, and I do still think often about calling her and asking or telling her such and such and then remembering that she's gone. I think, too, it's because for so long we were a long distance apart with me living here and her in Dallas, so it's not a daily reminder that she's really gone. Does that make sense?
I think you're completely normal as you process your Daddy's loss.
I don't know if it's Biblically correct, but I'll often pray to God and ask him to tell Mama such and such. Like when Cash was born last month, I did. I figure, what does it hurt?
Hope you're having a good night's sleep tonight!
Continuing to pray!
Psalms 57:1 Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast.
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