Ethan has had some much better days lately! We PRAISE THE LORD for that! Yes, we Baptists can be found shoutin' on days like these... after living with the rages, the violence, the chaos, and all that ensues... well, when you have a bit of a break, you suddenly feel like you can breathe if just for a bit.
I personally praise the Lord for the opportunity to spend time with Ethan, alone time, yesterday (Tuesday). Due to the flu, Cala was home all week from school (fall break began today at 12:30), and she and Seth both were taking a nap. I mentioned to Glenn that I would love to "break the rules" (the one that states me and Ethan should never be alone due to his violence aimed at me), and just take Ethan with me to Wal-mart. I needed to go get a few things and would love to let him go. We thought about it, talked about it, and we decided for me to try it. With cell phone all charged and ready to go, off we went.
When I first mentioned to Ethan we were going, he said, "but I'm not supposed to be alone with you, remember?" I told him I thought we would be fine and if he began feeling angry to let me know. He was excited to be going!
I got online and posted to some friends to please pray about this while we were gone. I so desperately wanted some time with my oldest son. I get lots of time with my baby son (age 4) and am completely smitten with him! (he knows it too!) However, with Ethan... well, I love that little boy so much and just needed to have time with him. I wanted to see the sweet Ethan again.
We talked, and we talked, and we talked and we talked!!! (Ethan is a MAJOR talker!). He walked next to me as I rode an electric cart, he helped me reach for things when I needed it and lots of people smiled at him along the way. He was in a great mood. We went to look at toys and wrote down prices for things the kids have said they are interested in. We picked out a gift for Cala's birthday from her brothers and off we went. I stopped to call Glenn about something and looked over to see the change in Ethan's eyes. I wish I had this on film, or in a picture. (actually, I think I might somewhere). There is just an obvious change in Ethan's eyes when a rage takes place.
I asked, "Ethan, what's wrong?" He was sitting down on a shelf below the ironing boards. (for you details people like me- I was buying clothes hangers).... Ethan responded, "I'm starting to get angry, so I'm sitting down." HALLELUJAH!!! No, not hallelujah that he was getting angry, but HALLELUJAH! PRAISE YE THE LORD! that Ethan himself recognized it!!!! That's a first, and a major first!!! I hope there's many more times like that- more times that he can realize what's happening and sit to calm himself. I stayed put for awhile and asked him if he was ready, and off we went in a few minutes.
This was one of those times lately, when we can not look back and find ANY reason for him to get upset... I can assume he may just realize he's bonding more with me and it scares him.... he wants to push back, like , "oops... I can't let Mama love me." That breaks my heart, but I will just grab on for now to this accomplishment and be thankful for my time at Wal-mart with my son, my precious son!
7 comments:
Was wondering if maybe he didn't want to share you with Glenn. You were having a good time with him and it was when you called Glenn that he got angry...or it could have nothing to do with that.
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Romans 8:33-34 Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.
Continuing to pray in Seattle!
Romans 8:35, 37 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? ...Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
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Romans 8:38-39 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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1 Corinthians 15:55-57 O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Know I'm here praying!
1 Peter 1:3-5 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you, Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
Hope these words bring you comfort! Praying!
Isaiah 12:2-3 Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation. Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.
The Lord is with you right now, lifting you up, giving you strength! Always praying!
Isaiah 40:27-31 Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the LORD, and my judgment is passed over from my God? Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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